Gender Women's Studies "Love and Sex"

Answer

• The Narrative on “Love” and “Sex

  This report presents a discussion on how minority groups such as LGBTQ have been oppressed by radical social norms. This paper aims to provide a narrative on my understanding of the terms “love” and “sex” based on the assigned readings. The essay also purposes to describe heterosexual culture, as presented by Jane Ward’s article, and its effects on groups such as LGBTQ. As the paper suggests, addressing discrimination among minority groups, in particular, the LGBTQ requires a cohesive understanding of the heterosexual culture and the social normative it upholds. The paper concludes that neither the hate crime legislation nor being straight will help solve violence against the queer community.

  The topic of love and sex raises a lot of controversies, especially in an attempt to understand how they connect. Love is an emotion or feeling that can only be actualized through expressions. There are multiple ways in which love can be expressed, it could be through gifts or simply hanging out and talk. Another common way we express love is through sex. Love and sex are connected and the two can be used interchangeably. From a scientific perspective, the emotion love and sexual desired both originate from the insular cortex, meaning they produce the same reactions in the brain (Sayin, 2019).  From this perspective, it would be correct to conclude that sex brings meaning to love and vice versa. Contrary, the societal perspective of love and sex is a dynamic and complex context. Most social constrictions link love and sex to marriage. The idea of romantic love is a crucial element in our society. Society makes it clear that everyone has a right to romantic love, but very often, the same society will criticize and prohibit same-sex marriage simply because it seems immoral when attached to marriage.

  In Jane Ward’s book, Let’s Call It What It Is, she introduces us to the straight culture, a norm that breeds all radical social normative against the queer and transgender community. Through the lens of queer suffering, straightness is associated with a degree of respectability and privilege (Ward, 2020). Straightness allows individual access to some societal and institutional privileges, ameliorating other types of suffering. If this may be the case, the presence of queerness would definitely introduce a paradox.

  Ward’s advice to the queer community is that being straight is not a solution, borrowing from the plight of the Black women heterosexuality (Ward, 2020). From a black woman’s perspective, the institution of homosexuality features violence, control, and discrimination. The benefits linked to heteronormativity do not match with the realities of Black women. In fact, what maintains their sexual relationships with men is the cultural constrictions that target women through sexual assaults, domestic violence, control of children, and compulsory marriages (Ward, 2020). Anzaldúa, (2016) labels heterosexuality as a culture that expects women to show more commitment and acceptance to the institution than men. A slight rebellion yields more suffering while slight freedom leads to the opposite, queerness. Ward (2020) suggests that there exists a thin line between lesbian women and heterosexuality constrictions. The fight against queerness by societies align with the fear of the deviance it possesses. Most cultures will burn and get rid of societal deviance at all costs, a reflection of the heterosexual tribe’s fear. Homophobia and transphobia are the mirrors reflecting the intimate terrorism expressed by society, especially towards the LGBT community. the fear that a black woman would rebel against the heterosexuality normative calls for a ban against lesbianism. Anzaldúa narrates how the lesbian of color’s greatest fear was going home, with their ultimate judgment being based upon two moral exclusions: sexuality and homosexuality (Anzaldúa, 2016).

  The misogyny paradox on sexuality presents a dysfunctional straight culture that shapes men to express love to their women and also hate them. Ward explains this paradox by explaining how boys are molded to believe that they desire women’s body, but are not allowed to express these sexual desires in a manner that centers on a girl’s subjectivity as it would feel gay (Ward, 2020). Violent expressions in the form of rape and sexual harassment are birthed from this, a common element in the popular culture. Ward also explains the cruel optimism paradox that explains why heterosexual institutions remain attractive. Straight people remain attached to heteropatriarchy due to its promises, the idea that heterosexuality is an expression of how to live a good life. These ideas of heterosexuality romance are installed in children at an early age, where boys base success on masculinity while girls achieve value through access to male approval.

  The institution of masculinity that emphasized straight women protects itself through manipulation and violence. From a queer perspective, straight people are frustrated and suffer under the weight of the misogyny paradox (Ward, 2020) A paradox that prohibits men to experience the maximum human capacity to desire, make love and show respect at the same time. This is different from lesbian feminists who get to lust for women and know women’s full humanity, a dream to some straight men.

  The heterosexual culture does not in any way spare its liberals, the LGBT community. Being confined to the heterosexuality regime makes it morally correct to hate, discriminate, and fear the queer community. The results of accelerated homophobia and transphobia are violence, sexual assaults, and social stigma. Being a minority group, the queer is bound to suffer from the majority of heterosexuals, justifying their action through false morals while seeking consolations from the false promises from the heterosexual culture.

  Even after endless advocacy for a trans-inclusive hate crime law, the transgender community suffers from social stigma. In his book, “The Laws will never Make us Safer”, Dean Spade applies irony and sarcasm to reveal the vicious truth behind the equality laws. Spade tells a tale of how the minority groups suffer in the eyes of the law. He speaks of the violence, discrimination, and desperations that transgender people face (Spade, 2016). The queer and trans politics are raising concern on whether the hate crime legislation is effectively responding to the ongoing violence against the LGBT community. The queer community is getting fed up with the unsatisfying crime legislation laws. Addressing violence through harsher laws and more police does not stop the hate presented by the heterosexual culture.

  As concerns related to violence against LGBT accelerate, the queer activities are talking about their initiatives to help their people. Some of the mentioned strategies include building alternatives that will stop them from seeking help from the bias police and judicial systems (Yasmin et al, 2016). The key lesson from Jane Ward’s book is that it helps reveal that being straight does not relieve them from these sufferings.