Lessons from Gran Torino

Pastoral Care, Counsel, and Conflict Resolution in the movie, Gran Torino
Here is the film’s background as described in Wikipedia:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gran_Torino
Here is the link to view the scenes from the film that are used in this resource. https://www.regent.edu/video/3001068
SCENE 1: The funeral for Dorothy, the wife of Walt Kowalski, a former soldier who served in
the Korean War, and a retired Detroit auto worker. Walt’s problematic relationship with his
children and grandchildren is on full display. The funeral is held at a Catholic church and the
white people in the film appear to be mostly Catholic or of Catholic culture, from Eastern
Europe. Father Janovich, a young priest, delivers a meditation that could be considered pleasant
pablum.
SCENE 2 (3:12): Father Janovich approaches Walt at the reception at Walt’s home. He states
that Dorothy charged him to watch over Walt and to get him to go do Confession. The
conversation is rocky at best, with Walt throwing out several insults.
SCENE 3 (4:18): Father Janovich later visits Walt at Walt’s home, and gets an earful of more
insults—but with substance mixed in.
SCENE 4 (5:14): Father Janovich later approaches Walt at his local bar. He will not let Walt go,
and insists that Walt have a real talk with him. A prickly conversation follows, but with some
genuine give and take, and some real revelations from Walt.
SCENE 5 (8:06): Walt has since intervened to help his next-door neighbors, Hmong people who
he generally despises, when they were intimidated by a Hmong gang. Walt came out with a rifle
to send the gang away. Father Janovich, hearing of the confrontation through the Hmong
network, storms to Walt’s house in anger. An in-depth conversation follows the initial
prickliness from each man.
SCENE 6 (10:21): Sue Lor, the smart Hmong young lady who is part of the family living next
door to Walt, has been brutally assaulted by the Hmong gang members, who dump her at her
home and disappear into the night. Walt, visiting his neighbors, and seeing this social, vigorous,
verbally expressive person turned catatonic from shame and shock, is deeply distraught. He
returns home in anger and despair. Father Janovich shows up to share Walt’s grief. It is evident
that they have become friends. Neither one is sure how to respond to the tragedy.
Walt finally went to confession with Father Janovich, in a scene accidentally not included here.
It was clear that he was preparing some final solution to the gang problem.
SCENE 7 (15:29): Walt concocted a plan to overcome the Hmong community’s reluctance to
give legal testimony of the Hmong gang’s depredations. In a highly public place, filled with
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witnesses, he provoked the gang members into thinking that he was armed (when he was not),
and shooting him. The scene opens showing Walt’s hand, holding nothing more than his Army
Zippo lighter as Walt lies dead on the ground in a crucifix posture, having sacrificed himself to
help the Hmong community. The gang members are jailed by the police.
SCENE 8 (17:41): At Walt’s funeral, attended by Hmong friends in full respectful regalia, Father
Janovich shares some deep thoughts about Walt’s provocative but perceptive words and life.
Some questions for thought and discussion:
1) What can you do to approach people resistant to God, church, and pastors?
2) What Scriptural guidance is there for dealing with people like Walt? What wisdom does
the Bible give? (This question is added by Dr. Willis Dowling)
3) What does their anger and resistance tell you about their spiritual state?
4) Is it worthwhile to continually insert yourself into a situation where you are told that you
are not wanted?
5) How “pushy” should a pastor/minister/chaplain be?
6) What can you do to prepare for a difficult pastoral encounter?
7) What techniques can you use to find and draw out the good points of someone who
presents mainly bad points?
8) How can you transform a prickly relationship into a respectful relationship?
9) Are there creative, self-sacrificial things you can to do address conflict situations?