Social Norms: Making Eye Contact When Talking To People

Answer

Social Norms: Making Eye Contact When Talking To People

Social norm, also referred to as mores, are unwritten principles of behavior that are regarded acceptable in a society or group. Norms function in providing predictability and order in society. Generally, people want to belong, people want approval, and individuals who do not follow the norms are likely to suffer disapproval or even be outcast from society or group. In this way, we keep the society functioning, not only through rules but also through expectations. When people understand and know what is required and expected of them, they often tend to submit. Whereas some people may seek to be distinct, most want to belong to the society or group. Norms may change from an environment, culture and situation to another and people’s conducts will equally change accordingly. There are several social norms that are widely accepted. One of such is making direct eye contact with a person when speaking to them. This paper focuses on making direct eye contact when talking to them, highlighting on the inappropriate and appropriate forms of eye contact to show in various regions of the world.

When and how to make an eye contact relies largely on the customs of where one is, who they are with, and the social setting of the individual. For instance, some cultures regard maintaining direct eye contact rude, aggressive, or a show of respect, while other religious groups and cultures regard eye contact between people of opposite sex inappropriate and either as flirtatious or threatening. In several Asian cultures, avoiding eye contact with a person of opposite sex or someone superior is perceived as a show of honour and respect. Nonetheless, in most European countries and the United States (U.S.), making eye contact is not just perceived as appropriate but is as well as perceived as needful to establish oneself as a potent business professional.

Eye contact is a communication method. A quick look relays a different message compared to a cold look yet both are kinds of making eye contact. Depending upon the setting, person, and culture, the message one thinks of are sent with non-verbal communication may not be received. In the business world and social settings, making the “right” eye contact does not involve staring at someone or just having a fixed stare. To make an eye contact, one has to directly look at the other individual’s eyes for about 4 to 5 seconds. One can during these seconds blink usually, and shift or nod their head from time to time during a dialogue. Imitating the facial expressions of the individual talking also assists in supporting suitable eye contact. A frozen stare and tense face appears more like staring relative to contact.

As mentioned before, making eye contact is perceived variedly from one culture, environment, and setting to another. In the U.S., making eye contact is regarded as showing interest, a sign of self-confidence, and paying attention. Except the situation is naturally confrontational, it is largely accepted for adults, children, and people of both sexes to keep a direct eye contact with other individuals. In U.S.’s business arena, it is specifically crucial that one make an eye contact when they are introduced to someone as well as when speaking to them. One does not need to stare down someone, but frequently stealing glances or refusing to make a direct eye contact may be construed as disinterest, weakness, or as being insolent/ill-mannered.

Most European countries’ eye contact customs are alike to those in the US, particularly in countries like France, Germany, and Spain. In France, making an eye contact with a strange person may be construed as showing interest.

In most African, Latin American, and Asian cultures, a protracted eye contact can be taken to offend or a challenge to authority. Generally, only brief or sporadic eye contact is regarded acceptable, particularly in Asian cultures where individuals are from various social levels and professions. For instance, in Japan and China, children show respect to their elders by not avoiding intense eye contact; workers would not make direct eye contact with their employers; Students do not force eye contact with their teachers, among other cases.  These cultures do not perceive avoiding looking an individual in the eye as disinterested or rude, or even as being abusive necessarily.  Instead, avoiding eye contact is often interpreted in these cultures as simply being reverent or polite.

In Middle Eastern cultures, especially among Muslims, do not perceive eye contact between people of opposite sexes as appropriate. Holding or making eye contact in these cultures can relay the message that one is interested less than curious or casual. Similarly, if one is doing business with another woman, an intense eye contact in one’s own gender is usually used to emphasize truthfulness of a particular point and is regarded acceptable.

To sum it up, eye contact as a social norm differs widely across cultures. Eye contact is important for everyday interpersonal communication. In making use of this knowledge regarding differences between eye contact in various cultures and settings, we can enhance our cross cultural communication.