1500 words essay Drawing on material from two out of the three strands of DD102 study materials, discuss some of the ways in which differences and inequalities persist over time. ——————————————————————– Specifically in this TMA, you were required to flex your comparing and contrasting analytical skills. You chose the second option that explored the problem of inequality and what to do about it as proposed by Hayek and Stiglitz. Your answer was good, well written and showed a decent understanding of both thinkers approaches to inequalities and the role of the state. The plan you submitted was good. It had a good level of detail and was coherently ordered and there appeared a balance to the discussion. I do wonder whether some indication of sources to support the relevant sections would have improved it. Follow the PEEL principles: Point, Explain, Expand, Link (back to question). That aside, I imagine this plan was much help when it came to writing the essay. Structurally, the essay had an introduction which set the context for the essay well but actually needed to also tell the reader what was to come in terms of (briefly) similarities and differences that would be explored. Similarly, your conclusion needed to be stronger on summarising the key points and arguments you have made. In terms of the main body, you showed an impressive understanding and ability to summarise both thinker’s ideas. There was scope for improvement though as I noted on the essay itself. Stiglitz needed more context and also what he foresaw the consequences of inequalities to be. With Hayek, you forget to actually detail properly what his views on inequality were and what should be done about it. These things need to be teased out earlier in the planning stage, ensuring you’re not missing anything out. The similarities and differences you explored were generally good and you noted the most significant ones. However, the clarity of the discussion of this part of the essay was found wanting in places. Also, the actual accuracy of some of the claims you made, in particular on Hayek’s views, I was not always convinced of. Worryingly some of these claims went unreferenced and there was no source to substantiate your claim. Do take a look at my comments. Towards the end of the essay you were making some points that read as more general reflections on the state of contemporary capitalism and the role of the state/government. It was unclear whether there were meant to be assigned to a Hayek or Stiglitz or quite what the point of the discussion was here. Again, something to be aware of and ensure in the further that is clear what the relevancy is of the points you are making. In terms of writing and expression, this was really strong – the essay had a really good tone to it. You made good use of the audio materials for your answer perhaps to the detriment of the relevant book chapters? While it was clear that you drew extensively on the course materials, there were many places in the essay that lacked references. This is something I have noted previously so please do attend to this in the EMA. A minimum of two references in each paragraph is a good rule of thumb. All claims need to be substantiated with evidence and references. Reference list at the end was fine. In terms of part 3 – personal reflection – this was better. You clearly identified areas for attention in the final assignment. What was pleasing to see was that many of them had begun to be worked on in this current assignment itself. This bodes well for the final assignment. So, well done again and for almost finishing the course – really great to see you make progress across the course. This was good assignment albeit one with room for further improvement! Do have a good think about this feedback and reflect carefully on what I have highlighted before starting the EMA. Do let me know if you’d like to discuss anything further regards this feedback or anything else in preparation for the EMA.
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